A Hawke by Any Other Name
by A Daughter of Shadows
Summary: Forced into a destiny she never imagined and never desired. She stood upon the precipice of it all. "It's almost funny when you think about it...how thin the line between a Hero and a Champion is." A chuckle emanated from beside her. "But just think of the stories you'll have to tell."
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** Dragon Age, in all it's wondrous glory, belongs to Bioware.

**Author Note:** So with Inquisition on it's way I decided to replay the games and this idea popped into my head about fifteen minutes into playing Awakening. I felt the need, an urge really, to write and hope that you will enjoy this chapter and future ones to come. Also, I'm sure you'll figure out that there are two timelines going on at once at times. Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome. Anyways, again, hope you enjoy. ;D

* * *

**_Prologue_**

**_The Truth_**

A figure stood imposingly upon a hill, staring down the darkspawn that rapidly approached her. She smirked as she twirled two oversized daggers above her head then rested one on each shoulder. She glanced to her little brother at her side, and nodded her head in the tainted beasts' direction as if to say he could handle them. The brother gave a faint roll of his eyes but then grinned as he charged the creatures, his older sibling marveled at his work oblivious to the darkspawn creeping up behind her. A blast of fire shot past her and sent them screaming and flailing as the flames rose high. Quickly the eldest spun to see charred corpses falling to the ground and turned back smirking at her little sister who smiled back before the younger girl's eyes grew wide at the sight behind her. With amazing speed she swung her weapons around and struck at the monstrous ogre that had charged at her. Gritting her teeth she held onto the daggers crossed in front of her, as she was being pushed back by the horned bully, before flipping back and jumping forward swinging her blades and lopping off the monster's head. Giving a coarse laugh she waved off her sister's concern, who had crossed her arms beneath her ample bosom and shook her head with a small grin. Their brother rejoined them, covered in blood, and the three sighed in relief as a loud roar thundered above head and they immediately looked to the cliff behind them. A dragon, large and grand, stood there before shooting into the air and swooping down upon them, fire-

**"BULLSHIT! That's not what really happened!" The warrior woman shouted out tossing the book in her possession. She watched as it slammed against the dwarven face of her captive. Her eyes were flaring in anger as she paced about in front of him.**

**He rubbed his jaw and set the book in his lap lightly fingering the leather imprints, a smirk spreading faintly across his lips as he watched her with a smug glance. "Does that not match the story you've heard, Seeker?" He leaned his elbow on the chair arm his chest exposed in all its hairy glory.**

**She grimaced and continued to pace, her black armor catching in the dim torch light. "I'm not interested in stories. I came to hear the truth." Her tone annoyed and strained.**

**A sigh escaped his lips and he put his hand up. "What makes you think I know the truth?"**

**"Don't lie to me!" She descended upon him swiftly, fire in her eyes, her finger pointing at him in an accusatory manner nearly poking out an eye with how close she had come. "You knew her even before she became the Champion!"**

**"Even if I did," his hands slowly went up in defense as he kept her gaze. "I don't know where she is now…" He looked down solemnly thinking about her.**

**She grit her teeth and turned from him staring off distantly, anguish in her voice. "Do you have any idea what's at stake here!?"**

**"Heh," he gave a small grin eyes still cast down. "Let me guess: your precious Chantry's fallen to pieces and put the entire world on the brink of war?" He waved his hand out at the word _world_ finally peering back up at the back of her head. "And you need the one person who could help you put it back together again."**

**The Seeker turned and glanced at him, eyes intense. "The Champion was at the heart of it all." She sighed and rubbed her brow. "And if you can't point me to her, tell me everything you know."**

**He leaned forward clasping his hands together, the grin growing. "You aren't worried I'll just make it up as I go?"**

**"Not. At. All." She stated bluntly staring him down.**

**"Then you need to hear," he leaned back into the chair his fingers steepled, his eyes focusing on her and yet beyond her. "The whole story…"**

**"Yes, tell me from the beginning of the Champion's tale." Her arms crossed.**

**He tilted his head to the side and chuckled as if she had said something amusing. "Well just remember you asked to start there." She cocked an eyebrow at his meaning but refrained from interrupting as he began his tale again. "Though a minor part in her story, and perhaps a bit before the Champion's beginning, this is important to mention…"**

The family fled from their home in Lothering as the Blight spread over the land. Taking a break from running the four members stopped. Disheveled and worn, the youngest began to argue amongst themselves. Finally fed up with her younger siblings bickering the eldest child struck one of her swords into the ground causing the land to fracture and split around the blade.

"Stop it! Bethany, Carver, get your acts together. We don't have time for blame."

Both immediately stopped. Carver grumbled and crossed his arms about his chest and looked off. Bethany glanced down her hand gripping her staff tightly. "Sorry, Marian." She whispered softly.

"Your sister is right let's go before they-"

Before their mother could finish a pack of darkspawn swooped upon them. Marian and Carver attacked several of them as Bethany stayed back with their mother using her magic for both defense and offense. They dispatched the group and resumed their running, feeling that any arguments could wait until long after they were safe. Marian led the group and charged in without thinking when she saw a knight fighting off several of the nasty beasties trying to protect her companion. Once all was done the groups stared each other down. Tense introductions ensued and terse agreements, for everyone to stay their blades and staffs, were made. The family, along with the Templar Wesley and his wife the knight Aveline, looked to the eldest child.

"Let's get a move on." Marian commanded before heading off not wanting to be caught standing around.

The others followed closely as the group battled their way through the Wilds trying to make their way to Gwaren. It wasn't long before the group was surrounded by a small horde of tainted fiends. The group, the ones capable of fending off the brutes at least, dispatched of them as quickly as possible. When it was over they panted and attempted to rest afterwards only to have a large ogre come stomping towards them. Marian watched as Carver was about to charge out at it and ran over ramming him in the side to stop him. Looking in his direction to make sure she didn't hurt him she barely had time to glance back before her mother and sister screamed as the ogre grabbed her up. Marian's eyes widened as she stared into the soulless ones of the giant darkspawn. She feebly tried to move her arms as the creature's grip tightened around her. She could feel this and she knew there was no escape. With one last look to her loved ones she closed her eyes and the ogre finally crushed her then tossed her aside. Her mother shrieked in horror and ran over to the limp body of her eldest child. Bethany, Carver, and Aveline all struck out against the ogre using any amount of energy they had left to destroy the foul thing. As soon as it fell to the ground dead Bethany and Carver ran to their mother and sister and upon seeing the look of utter desolation and agony on their mother's face it was obvious to them:

Their elder sister was dead-

**"Stop!"**

**"Something wrong, Seeker?" The dwarf grinned watching her face contort in confusion and anger.**

**"The Champion can't die before she even reaches Kirkwall." Her rage flared up again. "Maybe I was mistaken, Varric Tethras. Perhaps I shouldn't have trusted you tell me the truth without some incentive." She placed her hand on the hilt of the sword at her side. Catching this the dwarf once again waved his hands in defense not removing his eyes from her, just in case.**

**"Hold on, Cassandra Pentaghast." Keeping his sarcastic demeanor by using her full name as she had used his. "I was offering the entire tale, but in my defense you did tell me to begin at the start of the Champion's tale."**

**"Death is not a beginning, dwarf!" The Seeker bellowed gripping his tunic. "The Champion doesn't die in the Wilds she obviously survives to cause mayhem here!"**

**A soft chuckle left his lips before he smirked.**

**"When did I ever say that it was Marian Hawke who was the Champion of Kirkwall?"**

**She paused at his words, a sudden thought striking her. It was true, not once did he say it was Marian. Everyone knew that a Hawke was at the center of it all but in all the tales and legends she had listened to over the course of her search for the elusive Champion…not once had anyone actually mentioned her first name. She had only assume that Marian was the one for the simple fact she was older, more experienced, and was present at Osagar as many of her sources claimed. Cassandra released him and straightened.**

**"Then tell me the whole story, from the beginning." Her eyes darkening with confusion. "Do not spare a single detail, understood?" She said flatly, crossing her arms, her jaw tightening.**

**"Wouldn't dream of it." He commented with a grin. "Now the entire story this time, from the very beginning."**


	2. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: **The same one as the Prologue. Dragon age is Bioware's, Alessia is mine.

**Author's Note: **Hope you enjoy.

* * *

_**C**__**hapter One**_

_**The Littlest Hawke**_

Bethany Hawke sat upon a large boulder as she read over the letter Carver had written from Ostagar.

_ "Dear Bethany,_

_ How fair's Lothering since Marian's and my departure two weeks ago? And what of the family, is all well at home?_

_ It's been rather interesting here at Ostagar. We've been driving back the darkspawn battle after battle. We have them on the run, or so the King's says. But if this were all it was why would the Grey Wardens be here? Why would they go out recruiting in hopes to bolster their numbers if it weren't a real Blight? And why in Thedas would they look so grim and worried all the time…unless all Wardens are as such._

_ All this aside, sister, I miss you all dearly. I'm sure Mari does as well she's just being stubborn about it. Captain Varel has placed a lot of pressure on her but other than that's she's her usual condescending self- sorry perhaps I shouldn't write that. Oh well. I'm sorry this letter has to be so short I'm being sent out with a scouting party._

_ Carver"_

She sighed heavily rereading the paper, wishing she could have gone to Ostagar as well to fight. Her black hair fell from behind her ear, her amber eyes glancing over the letter at the lake beyond and the tower piercing the sky even farther in the distance.

Sometimes she really hated being an Apostate.

Suddenly her eyes were covered as a sweet voice sounded from above, a chin resting atop her head.

"Guess who."

Bethany chuckled and put a hand to her chin. "Let me think…the Empress of Orlais?" She gave a small grin knowing full well who it was by the voice alone.

"Hah, you're running out of people Beth." The hands were removed and a teenage girl sat beside her on the boulder. "Is that from Carver?" She pointed to the letter in her hands.

The elder girl nodded. "He sends us his love."

"Yeah well he better have, he's our brother after all." She lightly nudged her elder sister's arm and looked out to the lake. "I kinda wish…I went to Ostagar to help out, you know Carv and Mari are hopeless without us." She glanced back with a wink before hopping off the rock and twirling before her. Hands held behind her back. "Sister Leliana's looking for you, says she has a new tale to tell. And of course mother wondered where you ran off to."

Bethany nodded and stood, taking one last look at her little sister.

The girl possessed hair that was fire-kissed in sunlight and blood-stained in dim light, similar to that of several members of the Amell family, or so their mother said; while she, Carver, and Marian all had beautiful raven-black hair like their father's. And unlike her own amber eyes which their mother said came from their grandmother, though she was certain the magical sheen in them came from their father. Or Carver and Marian's eyes which were a brilliant blue, a trait inherited from their mother. The youngest Hawke had bright peridot-green eyes that also held a magical gleam; her eyes in fact were exactly like that of their father's.

Bethany smiled at the girl. Glad she was not the only one in the family, now that their father had passed, that had magical talents. "Will you be joining us, Alessia?"

"Nah," she gave her a sly grin. "I think Leliana likes you, so I'd just be a hindrance." She watched as her elder sister, by a year or so, blushed and made a face.

"She does not, she's being nice." The elder crossed her arms about her chest and looked off with a playful pout.

"Alright, alright." Alessia snickered. "Besides, I know you're into tall devilishly handsome roguish types anyhow."

"Alessia!" Bethany blushed deeper. "You've been reading my journal again haven't you!?"

Alessia only grinned and walked backwards before turning and saluting her running off. "See you later, sister. Don't wait up!"

Bethany shook her head watching her go before sighing, smiling softly. "That girl I swear." And with that she turned and headed back to Lothering.

**~.~.~**

The youngest Hawke walked along the lake's edge, far from town by now but she did not mind. She knew it was unwise to be so far-off, seeing as Templars often patrolled the area looking for runaway circle mages, but she knew enough about stealth to hide in a bush and shut her mouth should any pass by. The teenager walked aimlessly her thoughts darkening as she thought of her siblings risking their lives at Ostagar while she was safe, as much as an Apostate could be, at home.

She was drawn from her idle musings, however, when she heard voices over the ridge closer to the road. Out of instinct she hopped into a nearby bundle of shrubs and held her hand over her mouth. When it became apparent that the voices were remaining immobile the mage slithered out of the shrubbery and quietly crept up the ridge to overlook an area, seeing several men who looked to be lying in wait.

_Bandits…_she thought looking from their armaments to the badly placed legholds. They looked wooden, so they had to be "flimsy things" as Marian always said when disarming them. Shaking her head she sighed softly. _You'd have to be a special kind of dense to fall for that._ As soon as she thought it she could see a man walking their way, and whether by shear dumb luck or actual partial skill he avoided the traps…_though any sane person would've turned around if they had seen them. Self-preservation and all that. This fellow must lack it severely._

Curiosity gripped at the young girl, and although she knew she should flee and head back home she wanted to know what kind of person this man was. Was he the fool who avoided traps by shear happenstance? Or was he the fool who avoided them deliberately yet still strolled deeper into an obvious danger zone? Either way she waited silently to find out, keeping her head low to the ground watching the scenario play out.

The man, possessing deeply tan skin much similar to that of a Rivaini, continued to walk deeper into the fold. His eyes were weary, yet kind and wise and he had one of the most amazing beards she's seen in a long time. She'd have to remember to write Carver and describe it in great detail, seeing as he's been incapable of growing one of his own so far. Setting aside the humorous reaction she imagined she'd receive she went back to watching the man. He had to be rogue, if his dual weapons gave her any indications of that.

_So a fool who willingly walks into an ambush…he surely doesn't think he could take on all of these bandits on his own does he?_

Shaking her head, her curiosity sated, she started to push herself from the ground when the bandits lashed out at the man. A glint of light caught her eyes as she watched the assumed Rivaini unsheathe one dagger and slice a bandit's throat within a split second. Captivated she watched as he almost danced around them. Blood droplets spilled and painted the land, his blades dripping wet. Her heart swelled at such a sight, she thought Marian and Carver were amazing in battle but this man was something else entirely. Not even when a bandit drove his blade into the man's shoulder did it cease his dance. Another gash across his stomach, not deep but still bleeding and a cut across his cheek…nothing, absolutely nothing seemed to stop his onslaught.

_Maybe there's some Qunari blood running through his veins…_she wondered to herself.

Alessia continued to marvel at the sight and when the last bandit was slain she watched as he simply wiped the blood dripping from his cheek, a sort of sorrow in his eyes from having to kill them all. She stood, debating if she should offer him some poultices. She wasn't very good at healing magic, unlike Bethany who seemed to excel at it, but she was good at making potions. However, she had little time to consider the matter as a second wave of bandits closed in on the man.

Against her better judgment, Alessia raised her hands in the air and brought a Blizzard upon them all freezing them in their tracks. She had shielded the man from the effects and watched as he shattered all he could and slaughtered the rest without obtaining another injury. She honestly didn't know why she acted, perhaps because she found herself in awe of him. Or perhaps her father's blood took hold and compelled her to save someone she believed needed help. Either way, the deed was done and now she had to face the consequences. She peered down at him and, once again ignoring the voice of reason in her head, went down to tend to his wounds instead of fleeing to home.

"I thank you for the assistance." The man said kindly, his voice didn't hold much of a Rivaini accent but she still thought he could be one.

"Y-yeah…" she hesitantly nodded before leading him off to an area with less blood and bodies, and by a clean water source; there she sat him down on the ground.

She fumbled with his armor, inexpert in stripping strange men, a skill her eldest sister apparently excelled in if one was to believe Carver and his voyeuristic tendencies. He aided her and she nodded an appreciative thanks looking about cautiously, keeping her eyes out for Templars.

"I am Duncan." He introduced himself watching her intently.

Weary to reciprocate the greeting she remained silent looking over his bare bloody chest. It was broad and sculpted, with scars scattered on his skin and black coarse-looking hair that covered his pecs and tapered down into a path that led below his breeches. An attractive sight to be sure, but not one that was uncommon to her; for while the teenage girl was inept at stripping men she had seen many bare chests in her short life. Seeing as Carver, Marian, and many of the chantry Templars and soldiers stationed in Lothering would get injured at times when dealing with the occasional wolf pack, bear sleuth, or bandit group. And since she was quite skilled in herbalism she would usually be called upon to tend to the wounded. No magic needed then and their secret still safe. "Raise your arm." She commanded coolly as she pulled a clean rag from one of her pouches dipped it in the nearby stream before dabbing it on the wound across his belly.

Duncan continued to watch silently, noting her cautious manner and constant glances over her shoulder. "You're an apostate." He stated calmly her reaction only confirming his words. She looked at him in fear and shock and went to stand but with quick reflexes his hand reached out and grasped her wrist, firmly but gently. The sudden jolt of the action caused her to fall on her rump looking at him like frightened kitten. "You have nothing to fear from me, child." He could tell that she didn't believe him and was unrelenting as she struggled to free her arm from him. Her eyes gazing into his as though searching for something. _Though capable with ice magic she refuses to use it unless necessary._ He pulled one of his daggers from beneath his armor. She began to panic now and he quelled her fears by placing it in her hand. "Kill me if you fear discovery so much. But as I said before I am no danger to you."

Alessia looked to the dagger in her hands and gripped it tightly. The feel of it was not so foreign to her as one might think a mage would find it. Marian had been trying to train her in the ways of the rogue and, though she had little aptitude for the skill set, she had wielded a knife before. Albeit badly enough to leave her eldest siblings in stitches on the ground, dying of laughter. But from this distance, of barely two feet, there's no way she could miss.

Gritting her teeth, she held the blade to his throat and pressed. She searched his eyes again, for any hint of malice or deception yet found none. Her hand was trembling with how hard she gripping the weapon. Lowering the blade she tossed it upon his armor and returned silently to cleaning his wounds. "I will not kill you…" As much as she feared detection, she feared becoming one of those Apostate mages that did whatever it took to save their own skin even more, specifically those that resorted to blood magic.

_Maker please let him be true to his word…_

"Then again, Duncan."

She peered into his mahogany-brown eyes before returning her gaze to his wounds. "Alessia."

He nodded and watched as she finished cleaning the injuries and removed a poultice from another pouch about her belt, dipping two fingers inside it and then slathering the warm energizing elixir over his lacerations.

"You're quite young to use such powerful spells." He commented not taking his gaze from her.

Her jaw tightened a moment before sighing. _He already knows I'm a mage, telling him more will do little to harm me further. _"I have a knack for ice and telekinetic magic is all. And to be fair, force field is only a second tier telekinesis spell."

"I see, still, it's impressive. Did you learn them from the circle perhaps, before becoming an Apostate?"

The teenager watched as his wounds slowly mended, none of them so damaging that they would need wrappings. "No, I was born an Apostate…my father taught me everything I know."

"Taught?"

"He died, three years ago of disease. Funny in all the magic we mages possess we are still as mortal as any other."

"My condolences."

She nodded and put his arm down; the cut on his cheek gone already, the stomach injury nearly done and his shoulder wound was still closing up. "There…" She put the poultice back in its pouch before standing and dusting off her knees and arse.

Duncan stood with her and grabbed for his armor putting it back on with nary a wince. As he buckled and tightened the straps he looked down at the ground coming to decision.

"I can see your father taught you well and that you can keep a level head in uncertain situations." He glanced at her. "I would like to recruit you for the Greys Wardens."

The girl blinked before laughing out loud. "Oh that's a good one! For a minute there I thought you said the Grey Wardens!" She continued to laugh until she realized he was just standing there unyielding and utterly quiet. Peering up at him her eyes widened and her laughter instantaneously fell silent. "Y-you're serious?!"

"A Blight is upon us, and we need capable fighters. Your magic will work well against the darkspawn."

"B-but I'm an Apostate! I-"

"And I am the Warden Commander of Ferelden." He sighed softly not backing down. "We need aid where we can find it. I would conscript you if I thought the action would compel you to join."

Her head was reeling. She knew she wanted to be there for her siblings but this is not what she had in mind as her ticket to Ostagar. The teenager stared into the eyes of the much taller man. They told her he would not take no for an answer, that he would do whatever it'd take to force her to join the order. And while she admittedly was flattered at his interest in her capabilities, she was terrified in at the prospect of leaving her family behind.

Alessia suddenly felt light-headed and she staggered back, her chest heavy and straining to breathe. She had never left her family for longer than a couple of hours, she was only 16 almost 17; many still considered her a child and treated her as such. Sure the life of an Apostate was far from glamorous but it was the only one she knew. To be suddenly inducted into such an order that she only heard legendary tales of was a bit too much for her to take.

Again she staggered and his arm darted out grasping her shoulder firmly. He knew he was asking much of the girl but he would not be denied a recruit when they so graciously fell into his lap.

"Ferelden needs Grey Wardens, now more than ever."

Placing a hand over her chest, willing herself to breathe and trying to calm down, she meekly glanced up at him. Her family did live in Ferelden, she was born here, raised here. Ferelden was too beautiful of a place to fall prey to a ravaging Blight. She wanted to help, she had admitted as much many times to many people, and here was her chance to do so. Swallowing hard, and mustering her courage she choked out her response to which he returned with a kind, if solemn, smile.

"I'll be a W-warden…if it means helping Ferelden."

**"So there was another Hawke child…" Cassandra contemplated this a moment.**

**Varric chuckled with a sigh. "You do realize if you continue interrupting me, we're never going to get anywhere."**

**The Seeker ignored him and paced around the room. "And she is the one to become the Champion?" She peered at him from the corner of her eye.**

**"Would I focus on her so much if she weren't?" Cassandra responded to this with a glare and pursing lips. Knowing what she was thinking he interlaced his fingers and set his hands on the book. "Look, Seeker, I promised you a story. And with the added incentive," his eyes glanced to the sword resting on her belt before returning them to her. "I'm not about to waste your time now." There was a faint sarcastic note in his tone as he said it.**

**Her teeth ground together, her lips remaining pursed before recalling his words and turning to him suddenly. "Are you telling me that the Champion of Kirkwall is a Grey Warden?"**

**The dwarf chuckled and rested his head on a hand leaning it on the chair arm. "Shall I spoil it for you or would you rather I continue?" He watched her jaw tightened and her hand slowly formed into a fist, admittedly he was amused by this. After a moment, all she did was wave her hand as a means of continuing; he chuckled and gazed off into the flames of a torch. "Now…where was I?"**

Alessia slowly collected her staff and pack, taking inventory of all her ingredients and poultices. Leandra Hawke stood behind her distraught and speechless a hand over her mouth eyes threatening to water. Bethany stood beside her, completely confused.

"You're gone for several hours and suddenly now you're leaving for Ostagar?" She grasped her sister's shoulders and turned her to face them. "What happened?"

Their mother began to pace biting on her finger, tears falling.

The young teen looked down, she hadn't told them that she was being recruited into the Grey Wardens. She knew she should feel honored but telling them that she was joining the very order that was made to battle the Blight would only serve to make them worry more. But she had to tell them something.

"I-I used my powers to save a soldier in King Cailen's army."

"What?" Her mother stopped and stared at her, wide-eyed and worried.

The girl sighed and ran a hand through her bangs. "He was ambushed by bandits and I just-I just had to help okay..."

Bethany looked deeply into her eyes. "He realized you were an Apostate, didn't he?" She lightly shook her when she didn't respond and stared at her desperately. "Didn't he?!"

"Yes…" Alessia squeaked. "He said the army is in need of mages, said I could help and that he wouldn't say anything about me being an Apostate if I agreed to go." The lie flowed so effortlessly from her lips that she found herself thankful she had inherited her eldest sister and father's coercive trait.

Her sister glanced down and hugged her close. "I'm sorry, sister." She pulled away and held her at arm's length. "I should go with you."

The young girl saw her mother's face contort in horror and pain at the thought of all her children being so far from home and directly in harm's way, quickly shaking her head she looked up determinedly at her. "No, someone has to stay here and watch over mother. And the last thing we need is everyone discovering you're an Apostate as well." As much as she wanted Bethany to go with her, the agony in her mother's eyes struck her hard and she knew she couldn't ask her to. Sighing she hugged her again tightly before going over and hugging Leandra.

The older woman was appreciative to the girl in denying Bethany but she was heartbroken that another one of her children was being carted off to fight Maker knows what so close to the Wilds. "My baby, my little hawk…" she sobbed softly. "Be safe, do you understand me? You come back to me." Kissing her daughter's hair she was reluctant to let her go but did so, wiping away her tears.

Alessia gripped the straps of her pack tightly, her staff nestled between it and her back, and walked to the door. She stopped and took a last glance at her mother and sister before turning back and walking through the village heading to the bridge where Duncan was waiting for her.

He stood imposingly, his arms behind his back, as he looked off. He turned, hearing her approach, and felt a pang of guilt at seeing the downtrodden expression on her features. It felt worse when the small teen caught him staring and tried to smile despite herself. However, he needed recruits. _No matter the sacrifice..._

The Apostate stood before him. "S-so to Ostagar?"

"Yes." He directed her with his hand to walk and she complied, if slightly reluctantly. "I've already sent word that you will be arriving with me."

"A-alright." She swallowed hard and glanced back at Lothering. He allowed her to do so, giving her the time she needed…for he knew that there was a chance she might not survive what is to come.


	3. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** Same as before, Bioware owns Dragon Age still and Alessia is mine.

* * *

_**Chapter Two**_

_**Promises Made**_

Alessia sat on the hard forest ground as she watched Duncan tend to the fire. For two days they've been walking through the woods, a supposed short cut to the main roads, but she doubted this. Not that she was complaining much about it. Duncan was a pleasant enough companion; polite and quiet, always watching the horizon as if he could tell something was there. However, he was very unforthcoming about what it took to become a Grey Warden, and that made her very wary of the whole situation.

"Why keep it a secret?" She asked him for the umpteenth time putting her hands behind her head lounging back against a tree. He looked to her briefly but made no attempt to answer instead he just adjusted a piece of wood with the edge of his sword. The teen sighed. _Maybe quiet isn't always a good thing._ "You know not responding only makes it seem suspicious in nature. Like it's something really bad that we have to do."

The rogue's eyes glanced over at her giving her a faint hint that she was getting closer. "If you knew I doubt you would wish to become a Grey Warden." His tone was distant but calm.

She let out a hollow chuckle and sighed. "Well, I didn't actually want to become a Grey Warden in the first place, remember? But I was sure you'd toss me over your shoulder and drag me along for the ride anyways so refusing you seemed a fruitless endeavor. That and this helps Ferelden." Duncan cracked a rare smile at the imagery of the young mage kicking and screaming out obscenities as he flung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Perhaps it wouldn't go that far." He mused.

The girl laughed a little more sincerely this time and sat up, pulling her legs to her chest resting her chin on her knees. "When you said I wouldn't want to become one if I knew…is it really that bad?"

He gave a soft sigh. "Many would think so."

The teen's eyes widened at the possibilities of what it could be and looked at him apprehensively. "We don't have to sacrifice a newborn babe, or have blood magic induced sex on an altar do we?!" The man opened his mouth to respond but quickly closed it hearing her worries and laughed. She blinked confused; she honestly didn't see what was so funny. "What?"

"Nothing." He contained his laughter and pulled off one of the rabbits they had roasting to check it. "You simply reminded me of Alistair for a brief moment." He replaced the hare. "That and blood magic induced sex on an altar is not something one often hears in civilized conversation."

"Oh we're civilized are we?" She retorted, blushing from the embarrassment of having him repeat that fear word for word. Casting her gaze off to the side she pulled her legs closer grumbling under her breath.

The Rivaini watched her before grabbing the rabbits and butchering them, handing her a wooden plate of cooked meat.

"Eat." Though not really a command, she still felt obligated to take it from him. It wasn't until she took a bite that she realized how hungry she was. Duncan turned his gaze to the fire as he spoke softly. "Death is a possibility with the joining." He stated, curious as to how she'd react.

Alessia peered over at him and swallowed her food. "Is not that a possibility for anything we do?"

_Wiser than I expected her to be…or perhaps simply more world-weary. _"Yes, I suppose that's true enough."

"So, what would the Joining entail, exactly? Since death is a risk and all." She pressed him for more, considering she had been bugging him about it for days. The girl simply prayed he didn't get tightlipped about it again.

Duncan stroked his beard as he thought before looking at her, his eyes piercing. "You have to drink darkspawn blood."

The teen grimaced. A memory shooting to the forefront of her mind. The mage recalled nearly ten years ago when a straggler Genlock had come out of the cave near their home and was caught in one of Marian's iron legtraps. It had howled and woke them all from their slumber. Everyone had run from the house to make sure it wasn't a nosy villager, since they had only just relocated to their home on the outskirts of Lothering and many of their so called "neighbors" were very curious about them. She remembered clinging to her mother's nightclothes, seeing as she was only 7 or so at the time, watching as her father took a knife and slit the creature's throat; making sure to keep them far from it just in case. She could remember the foul odor it possessed. Pungent with a faint smell of rotten eggs, copper, and something else she couldn't name. Her father had said that that particular scent came from the Black City, and that that was why it was unknown to her.

Shaking the memory from her head she glanced down at her food. She was still hungry but the stench she remembered was causing her stomach to churn. "Of course it'd have to be something disgusting wouldn't it." Sighing she gave into hunger and continued eating, looking over at him. "But wouldn't we be tainted or something?"

"Should you survive the joining you will be immune to the taint. You will be able to harness it to use against the darkspawn and to slay the Archdemon. However, you will be forever changed. This is why it's kept a secret." The Warden Commander didn't know why he was telling her any of this, aside from sating his own inquisitiveness, and prepared himself should she decide to make a run for it.

"So either die or change? What an ultimatum." She thought on it as she ate. "My father did say that the Grey Wardens were willing to do anything to battle Blights. And I suppose nothing comes without sacrifice."

He cocked his head slightly, a certain sorrow washing over him as he gazed at her. _Definitely world weary, and yet she's barely an adult._ "Are you contemplating running?"

"No. What good would that do me now? You know where I live and you know I'm an Apostate. Even if I did manage to get away I doubt you'd let me be unless I killed you, which would only serve to damn us all in the end if this really is a Blight. So whether I like it or not I'm sticking with you."

The man nodded, satisfied with her response. "It would be wise not to tell the other recruits. If this knowledge were to spread it would greatly impair future recruiting efforts."

She agreed to keep quiet on the subject and returned to her meal when a sudden thought struck her. "Has anyone actually refused being a Grey Warden?"

"Aside from you?" He chuckled briefly, glad to change the topic from the specifics of the Joining. "I recall several who did not wish to become one as they stood right at the ritual, having just learned what was involved." He didn't delve too much into what became of those as he continued. "There was an elven rogue, Adaia Tabris, whom I wished to recruit but the Alienage Elder refused on her behalf."

"And how did that go?" She grinned listening to him.

"I obliged. We were not plagued by a Blight at the time. So no tossing of recruits over shoulders I'm afraid." A small smile flashed on his lips as she giggled. "Let's see, I once heard from the Warden Commander of the Free Marches, at the time, that they had offered an Apostate mage a chance to join the Order after he completed a task for them. Apparently he adamantly refused and just wished to flee Kirkwall with his love."

"Romantic," a hint of sarcasm in her tone. "I wonder if it actually worked out for them." She pondered aloud before taking another bite.

"Who knows," he set aside his plate not too hungry. "I know they were fleeing to Ferelden, Larius had written my Commander to keep an eye out for him should he make it." Duncan stroked his beard trying to recall the name. "I think it was Hawke. Malcath or Malcolm Hawke…something to that nature." The Apostate choked on her food having to spit out the meat pounding on her chest, her throat now burning. "Are you alright?" He glanced to her.

Alessia managed a brief nod. "D-dandy. Sw-swallowed wrong." _No way…not possible. He can't be talking about my father…_She set the plate aside; it became clear, between the nausea and choking, that she wasn't supposed to finish it. _Mother did tell us that she was from Kirkwall. _The young teen bit the inside of her lip, chewing on it, lost in thought. Absentmindedly, the Apostate grabbed her pack and laid her head down on it curling up with her back to him. Thinking about her father too much always tugged at her heart. She loved him but no one in her family knew much about him; he was the Hawke family enigma, and he would always give vague answers about his life before meeting their mother. The girl bit her lip harder when she felt the tears beginning to well up. This was just another thing he never told them.

The Warden watched as her shoulders began to tremble. _I wonder, was the Apostate her father?_ He thought, thinking back on her reaction to the name. He heaved a heavy sigh and stood, grabbing up his bedroll and draped it over her. Sitting down beside her he placed a hand on her shoulder, showing a rare moment of tenderness, and waited until she fell asleep.

**~.~.~**

The two companions had finally arrived at Ostagar, and were surprised by a grand welcome. A man clad in brilliant golden armor grasped onto Duncan's arm in hello, the latter seeming more taken aback than welcomed.

"King Cailan. I didn't expect-"

"A royal welcome?" He stepped closer with a wide smile. "I was beginning to worry you'd miss all the fun."

Duncan controlled his urge to correct the King in calling a Blight fun. "Not if I could help it, your majesty."

"Then I'll have the mighty Duncan at my side in battle after all." He gave a pleasured grin and swayed his head as if savoring the words. "Glorious!" Duncan sighed as he watched the King turn his attention to the fidgeting girl at his side. "The other Wardens told me you've found a promising recruit. I take it this is she?"

Duncan nodded. "Allow me to introduce you, your majesty-"

"There's no need to be so formal, Duncan. We'll be shedding blood together, after all. Ho there, friend! Might I know your name?"

"I-it's Alessia…y-your majesty." The girl stuttered having never thought she would one day meet the King of Ferelden; not that she really cared too, considering that would've been too much attention on her person.

The monarch let out a hearty laugh. "There's no need to be frightened, I don't bite I promise. It is a pleasure to meet you though." He held out his hand to shake hers. Reluctantly she reciprocated. "It's good you were found. The Grey Wardens are desperate to bolster their numbers and I, for one, am glad to help them." He examined her curiously. "I understand you hail from the Circle of Magi. I trust you have some spells to help us in the coming battle?"

The Apostate looked over at Duncan with a bemused expression and eyes that questioned what exactly he had written about her to his other Wardens. Swallowing hard she returned her gaze to the King and tried to smile. "I will do my best, your majesty."

"Excellent!"

This was the last thing she heard from the monarch, not bothering to listen any further. Her head was swimming with the possible reasons as to why Duncan would bother lying for her. And what precisely was said. _Maybe he didn't want to bother with Templars…_The girl listened as their voices droned on, and on, then decided to entertain herself by gazing around at her surroundings watching soldiers pass by. Until she felt a hand on her shoulder causing her to jump and return her attention back to her companion.

"I have some business to tend to." Duncan's deep voice sounded. "Take some time to explore the camp, and once you're ready find Alistair."

She quickly collected herself realizing the King was long gone and sighed. "Right, that mysterious Warden you keep mentioning." A small chuckle escaped her lips as he nodded. "So what exactly did you tell everyone about me?"

The man stared down at her intensely. "I wrote that you were a recently harrowed mage from the Circle of Magi. Nothing more, nothing less."

The girl gave him a tiny appreciative smile. "Thanks…" He nodded and pat her shoulder before walking off. She watched him go before a feeling of anxiousness swept over her and she immediately squatted gripping her head. With Duncan gone she no longer felt the need to suppress all the emotions and anxiety she had kept bottled up over the past several days.

_Okay…you're here. You're life has been decided for you. Now what?_ She rocked on her heels earning many strange looks from passing by soldiers. Pulling off her pack and staff she fell back and looked up at the sky before covering her face with her arm.

"How did I get myself into this mess?"

The girl laid there for quite a while, trying to calm herself, and postponing the ritual as long as she could.

**"Are you telling me that the Champion was afraid of becoming a Grey Warden?" The Seeker pondered sitting down in a chair she had brought in.**

** "You could call it that." The Dwarf replied casually looking at his nails with disinterest, beginning to take an inward tally for how many times she's interrupted him thus far.**

** She glowered at him. "Then what would you call it?" She hissed crossing her arms.**

**Varric looked at her then opened the book to a page that held the likeness of the Champion. His eyes first went to hers. **_**Not bright enough…**_**he thought as he saw the insipid green coloring. Then they traced the lopsided grin before he thumbed the picture lightly and sighed.**

** "What would I call it? I'd call it a 16 year old girl being thrown to the wolves." His eyes peered up at the woman's, the intensity in them nearly made her falter.**

**She had to look away thinking on this. "She ran, didn't she? She returned to Lothering, and did not become a warden because she was afraid."**

** "Shall I continue, or would you rather accept your assumption as fact, Seeker?" The warrior didn't catch the brief glare he gave her. Cassandra's jaw tightened and she crossed her legs leaning back in the seat, remaining silent. He chuckled at her thin-lipped expression and grinned, no glare in sight. "I'll continue then."**

When finally the girl had collected enough of her wits and strength she set off to explore the camp. She avoided the Circle of Magi area, more so for the Templars than anything else. But she swore she could feel their eyes on her and as she glanced back to see if her paranoia had any grounds she bumped into someone and stumbled back.

"Ah…s-sorry." Alessia winced rubbing her head, having slammed into the staff upon their back.

The figure turned and smiled kindly at her. "It's quite alright," they lifted the teen's chin and saw the bruise beginning to stain her forehead. "Are you the new recruit for the Grey Wardens?" The Apostate blinked and looked up at the elder woman who placed a hand over the newly forming contusion. Magic flowed effortlessly from her palm. It was warm and soothing, and reminded the child of Bethany's magic. Alessia tried to nod while keeping her gaze on the older woman. Her white hair was pulled back in a tight bun. She had a few wrinkles yet still possessed a relatively youthful appearance. And her gray eyes were kind and wise, with a hint of mischief. "Congratulations on passing your harrowing at such a young age."

The girl's brow furrowed beneath her palm and she sighed. "Thanks…" Honestly, she didn't know what a harrowing was but since she was allegedly newly harrowed, according to Duncan, all she could do was agree. The elder woman removed her hand, the spot tingling faintly but the pain was gone. "Thanks." The teen repeated softly.

"Wynne."

"Alessia…"

The girl was unsure how to deal with a circle mage, and so remained as silent as possible; until the woman began to coax out answers and opinions from her. But it wasn't until the older mage called the King a puppy that Alessia cracked a smile and chuckled earning a faint grin from Wynne in return. The two then conversed relatively normally from then on with the woman asking her many things; one of which was whether she knew about the connection between the darkspawn and the fade. The teen wanted to say that darkspawn had a faint acrid smell that originated from the Black City but didn't want to be questioned on how she knew this so she simply shook her head and allowed the woman to explain. After several minutes Wynne finally reminded the girl that Duncan had a task for her and sent her off with a smile.

The Apostate contemplated finding this Alistair guy but put it aside and returned to exploring. She was about to head up one of the ramps when she heard a rogue flirting in vain with a female knight and snickered listening in. After the woman walked off, leaving a smart slap across his cheek, the teen began laughing and was about to continue when she heard a voice behind her.

"Find that funny do you?"

Quickly the girl spun around and the same man, cheek visibly red, stood with a grin on his lips and his hands on his hips leaning down close to her. She stepped back from the proximity and looked at him. "It was certainly entertaining. But perhaps flirting while we're on the verge of an upcoming battle isn't so wise."

"I take my moments when I can." He chuckled and held out his hand. "Daveth."

"Alessia." She took his hand and shook it. He reminded her of her sister, perhaps that's why she felt relatively comfortable with him…well as comfortable as someone can be upon just meeting them.

"Oh ho. So you're the other Grey Warden recruit. To think you'd be such a pretty young thing. I was expecting an old magical crone; not that would've stopped me much." He smirked releasing her hand looking her over.

"Stop you from what?" She tried to grin, catching the innuendo, but still she fidgeted under his gaze.

"Well-"

"Daveth are you flirting with another girl?" A man walked down the ramp towards them.

"Ser Jory, done with your prayers are we?" He sighed and stepped back from the teen. "I was merely greeting our other recruit."

Ser Jory looked to the girl slightly shocked. "You're the third recruit?"

"Yes?" She cocked an eyebrow in his direction before exchanging a glance with Daveth.

"Problems Ser Knight?" Daveth asked with a mildly amused grin.

"I just…I had not expected a young girl to be the recruit. Most of the ones I have seen are at least in their twenties and all men."

"How do you know I'm not twenty-something and simply short for my age?" The girl pursed her lips, arms crossing. She had always been short, apparently a trait she inherited from one of her grandparents on her mother's side; an attribute to which all of her siblings take great pride in teasing her about.

"I-I suppose that could be true…I did not mean to insult. It was simply a surprise." The Apostate waved it off and he continued. "I-it's good you're here though, now we can get on with this ritual."

"I still say they intend to throw us into the Wilds." Daveth scowled with a faint shiver.

_I guess that makes sense, we need darkspawn blood and from what everyone keeps telling me there are more than plenty in the Wilds._ She simply gave a quizzical look and kept her mouth shut. After a moment of silence the two excused themselves with bows. The mage sighed; glad she wasn't the only one apprehensive about the entire thing, but pitied them both for not knowing what awaited them.

Bound and determined to explore every inch of the camp before submitting to her fate she continued on her way. The girl managed to obtain a key from a "deserter", though she took precautions to sanitize it fearing how he might have hidden it from his captors. She received a blessing from the sister praying with the knights. She learned what an Ash warrior was and even managed to convince the Teyrn's guard to let her speak with the man himself. It wasn't a particularly enlightening conversation. Aside from picking up that he wasn't too fond of the Grey Wardens and found Cailan to be childish and naïve there was nothing of note. When she thought she had explored every possible nook and cranny she grudgingly made her way to where this Alistair fellow was supposed to be, until the Kennel Master stopped her in her tracks, a look of anguish on his face.

"Are you the newest Grey Warden recruit?" She nodded. "Perhaps you can help me then. This Mabari ingested darkspawn blood, and I have some medicine that might aid him but I need help in putting his muzzle on."

"I…suppose I could give it a shot." The young recruit grabbed the muzzle from his hand and walked into the pen. Waiting a moment, she kneeled down and held out her hand slowly. The Mabari sniffed her before retreating, he looked haggard but seemed to understand that she was there to help him. She placed the muzzle on him and gently stroked his ear, inwardly praying he'd be alright before exiting the pen. "It's done…"

"Thank you; it would've been a pity to have to put him down. Though if you're going into the Wilds anytime soon we might be able to speed up his recovery. There's a herb there. White with a blood-red center."

"An Andraste's Grace?" This was the only herb she knew of with such characteristics. "I'm sure I could find one."

"Thank you." He nodded appreciatively, turning back to tend to the hound.

Looking back at the wounded creature in the pen she smiled softly at it then headed off. In the distance a tall young man caught sight of the girl and nearly strained his neck with the force of his double-take. He punched the arm of the woman beside him and pointed before running to her; he semi-avoided, semi-pushed people to get to the teen. She ran after him like a bat out of hell gingerly weaving through people with ease before both hollered out.

"ALESSIA!"

Daveth, Ser Jory, and Duncan all turned hearing the name of their other recruit. They stood by a bonfire watching the scene. Even Wynne looked over to see what trouble the new recruit may have already been causing.

Upon hearing her name she turned her eyes widened in astonishment as Carver came barreling into her and lifting her off her feet in a vice-like hug. The teenager gasped and coughed trying to breath as Marian wrapped her arms around them both tightly.

"Can't…breathe…" the littlest Hawke choked.

The other two released her before Carver's features contorted in confusion. "What are you doing here?" He questioned, his eyes narrowing.

"Don't tell me you snuck out and came all this way just to say hello to your siblings." Marian grinned, a hand on her hip.

"This isn't a laughing matter Mari." Carver stated with a faint glare. "She could get herself killed."

"Am I laughing dear brother?" Marian said with a mockingly innocent glance before looking her sister over to make sure she was okay. "In all seriousness though, why are you here?"

The teen froze as she peered at them both. "I…well, a soldier…uh" she scoured her mind for the lie she used on her mother and Bethany but the shock of seeing them both after so long prevented her from concentrating.

"Alessia," his deep voice resounded from behind both Marian and Carver. She peered beyond them at Duncan, he could see the plea in her eyes. "Don't you have a task to complete?"

Her siblings turned and looked at the man, they had seen him on occasion but never bothered to learn who he was.

Carver glared at him, his hand curling into a fist at his side. "Who are you to order our sister around?"

"Duncan." He said unfazed by the boy's attempt of intimidation. "I assume you know her."

Marian gave him a curt laugh. "We happen to be her siblings." Her eyes dangerous.

Alessia could only watch, worry gripping at her. _What is he going to say?_

The Warden Commander kept his eyes only on his recruit. "I was ambushed by bandits, she helped me. That's when I realized what she was and gave her an ultimatum. Face the Templars or join the army to fight at Ostagar. I assume you can tell what she chose. She's under my command now. Unless you'd rather I hand her over to the Circle of Magi right now?" His gaze going over to the Templars and the Mages that were currently traversing the Fade.

At this threat both siblings backed down. The young girl placed a hand on both their arms and looked at them with a determined smile. "I'll be fine. Duncan is a good man."

Carver gave a pained expression, sometimes he believed his little sister was too trusting.

Marian's jaw tightened and she jabbed a finger against the older rogue's chest. "You promise me she'll be kept safe."

"So long as she keeps up her end of the bargain to fight against the Blight, I will ensure she stays safe." His words seemed sincere enough as he bowed to the two of them. Duncan then straightened and watched as the siblings caught up, they spoke for quite some time until the two eldest had to return to their duties. They begrudgingly left their baby sister with the Rivaini, taking one last look at her before disappearing deeper into the soldiers' camp. The Warden placed a hand on her shoulder. "Perhaps you should go see Alistair now."

"Yeah…thank you, Duncan. For lying for me. For making that promise even though it was probably just something to ease their worries. For everything."

"It's a promise I intend to keep." He looked down at her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze.

She glanced up at him, not breaking the gaze. "Then I promise, if I survive the joining, I'll help you stop the Blight…one way or another."


	4. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer:** Never gonna change...unfortunate but ultimately true.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the support ^^. I hope you guys keep enjoying the story.

* * *

_**Chapter Three**_

_**The Offer**_

Arguing echoed throughout the area as she ascended the ramp to where Alistair was said to be.

Standing in the center of the belvedere was a very disgruntled mage, and an obviously uncomfortable young man.

"What is it now?" The mage asked through gritted teeth giving in to the persistent Warden. "Haven't Grey Wardens asked enough of the Circle?"

The blonde sighed in relative relief, glad the mage had stopped denying his request to speak with him. "I…simply came to deliver a message from the Revered Mother, Ser mage. She desires your presence."

"What her Reverence 'desires' is of no concern to me!" The older mage raised his voice looking about ready to lash out at the young man. Alessia cringed slightly, walking hesitantly closer. "I'm busy helping the Grey Wardens- by the King's orders I might add!"

"Should I have asked her to write a note?" The Warden responded with a small strained grin.

The mage looked indignantly at him. "Tell her that I will not be harassed in this manner!"

"Yes," the young warrior cocked an eyebrow at him. "I was harassing you by delivering a message."

"Your glibness does you no credit." The mage said flatly.

"Here I thought we were getting along so well." He gave another strained grin, before it relaxed somewhat. "I was even going to name one of my children after you…the grumpy one."

Alessia snickered as she stood there waiting. _He does have an interesting sense of humor_.

"Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must!" He sneered before pushing passed the Warden, bumping his shoulder as he did so. "Get out of my way fool!"

The teen's gaze followed the mage as he walked off, she shook her head sighing and returned it to the Warden and found him staring at her standing closer.

"You know, one good thing about the blight is how it brings people together."

She chuckled and grinned. "I know exactly what you mean."

His expression lightened hearing her words. "It's like a party; we could all stand in a circle and hold hands." He gave her a lighthearted smile. "That would give the darkspawn something to think about." The warden's face grew serious for a moment as he examined her. "Wait, we haven't met, have we?" Apprehension filled his eyes. "I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?"

The Apostate smirked. "Did the staff give me away? Damn."

"Hah," He gave a curt chuckle the smile returning. "And here I thought I'd been yelled at by every mage in camp."

"Give it time we might rectify that." The girl stated with a mischievous grin.

The two laughed together for a moment after this before the Warden recalled a description from one of Duncan's letters. "Wait, I do know who you are. You're Duncan's new recruit, from the Circle of Magi. I should've recognized you right away, I apologize."

The young mage waved it off with a kind smile. "It's okay. No offense taken." Her bright eyes looked him over. From his blonde hair to his brown eyes. "So that means you must be Alistair."

"Did Duncan mention me?"

"Several times."

"Nothing bad I hope." He gave a lopsided grin and rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, then sighing and changing the subject. "A-as the junior member of the order, I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining."

She nodded. "Pleased to meet you then. I'm Alessia."

"Right. That was the name. You know…" his eyes looked her over. "It just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?"

The teen could feel her cheeks heat up. He was the first to call her a woman instead of a girl. Trying to keep her composure she grinned. "You want more women in the Wardens, do you?"

"Would that be so terrible?" She arched her eyebrow at this, hands going to her hips and a smirk slightly forming on her lips, the blush dying away. "N-not that I'm some drooling lecher or an-anything. Please stop looking at me like that." The girl complied and snickered at how uncomfortable he looked. A moment passed between them until he thought about the Joining and looked at her. "So I'm curious: Have you ever actually encountered darkspawn before?"

Her memory of the straggler returned and her nostrils flared with the scent of the beast. She had to shove it out of her mind before she could continue, fearing she might gag. "Once when I was little."

He gave her a nod and looked off. "When I fought my first one, I wasn't prepared for how monstrous it was. I can't say I'm looking forward to encountering another." A soft sigh escaped his lips and he shook his head. "Anyhow, whenever you're ready let's head to Duncan. I imagine he's eager to get things started."

The teen nodded and walked with him curiosity beginning to bubble. "So, that argument I saw…" she glanced over at him. "What was that about?"

"With the mage?" He blinked at her then looked gazed forward. "The Circle is here at the King's request and the Chantry doesn't like that one bit. They just love letting mages know how unwelcome they are. No offense." Again she waved it off as he sighed. "Which puts me in a bit of an awkward position. You see I was once…a Templar."

Hearing him caused her eyes to widen, she hadn't expected that, she didn't even know how to process it. He was nothing like the other Templars she had come across or patched up. In the midst of her growing confusion and minor panic she took another step not realizing they had reached the slope. She stumbled and fell forward. Her eyes clenched shut, expecting to hit the ground.

She didn't.

Instead she felt a pressure on her arm. The girl looked back and saw Alistair holding onto her tightly keeping her from falling. After a moment of her hanging over the edge he straightened her out with a laugh, telling her to be more careful. Then the two of them continued walking, making their way to Duncan in silence.

Duncan looked to her then to Alistair, feeling the need to address Alistair's recent altercation with the mages. He scolded him like a father would a son, and the Junior Warden apologized rubbing the back of his neck. Duncan then returned his attention to the recruits.

"Now then, since you're all here, we can begin. You four will be heading into the Korcari Wilds to perform two tasks." Daveth gave a noticeable grimace as Jory's jaw tightened, their worries coming to life. Alessia kept her gaze on Duncan her arms crossed listening. "The first is to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood, one for each recruit." Now Alessia gave a reaction; her nose wrinkling, her throat getting dry and she tried to swallow.

"What do we need the blood for?" Jory questioned looking at him. The older rogue didn't answer. Sighing Jory rubbed his brow and asked another question. "What is the second task then?"

"There was once a Grey Warden archive in the Wilds, abandoned long ago when we could no longer maintain such remote outposts. It has recently come to our attention that some scrolls have been left behind, magically sealed to protect them." He turned to the younger Warden. "Alistair, I want you to retrieve these scrolls if you can."

"What kind of scrolls are these?" The mage asked him, curious, since he was just now mentioning it.

His gaze returned to the teen. "The scrolls contain treaties promising support. Treaties that may prove valuable in the days to come." The Apostate nodded as Duncan looked back to the blonde. "Watch over your charges, Alistair. Return quickly, and safely."

"We will." The young Warden replied and looked to the recruits. "I need to grab my weapons. Afterward we can be on our way."

Daveth said he wanted to buy a dagger from the quartermaster, as Jory commented that he needed to get his helmet. Alessia having all the belongings she needed decided to wait by the Senior Grey Warden for them to return. The girl watched them go off before turning quickly and punching Duncan's arm.

"Why didn't you tell me Alistair was a Templar?" Her lips pursed into a pout as she eyed him suspiciously.

"I didn't?" He glanced down at her. "Silly me." She gawked at him. Not from the fact that it was a bit of dry humor, with a tone clearly stating he didn't tell her on purpose, but rather because he had said it with a completely straight face. However, his humor could not quell the worry that grew in her eyes. She wondered what Alistair would do, how much of his Templar instincts were intact. Honestly, she didn't want to find out. And to be stuck in the wilds between him and the darkspawn was the last scenario she desired. A faint glint of anger crossed her features and the mage opened her mouth to respond. Having seen the growing worry and her rage the rogue quickly took her chin in his gauntleted hand. The grip was firm, but gentle…well as gentle it could be with the cold hard metal pressed to her skin. He made her look up at him and stood close. "Put your fears aside. He believes you're a mage of the Circle and he will continue to do so. And he is nothing if not compassionate so do not worry."

The girl trembled at the intensity in his eyes and grit her teeth not bothering to pull herself from his grasp. "And if he finds out? What if it affects the group dynamic? What if he tries to turn me in?"

The man sighed and continued to gaze down. "I'm sure you can keep a secret long enough to go through the Joining. If you should survive it and he finds out, not he or any Templar can do anything. You would be a Grey Warden with a Blight to tend to, and that supersedes being an Apostate."

She found a certain kind of comfort in his words.

_If you survive the Joining, the Templars can't do anything to you…_

Her heart beat faster thinking she'd be free from the hunt. But then it slowed and stopped recalling her father, one of the strongest and wisest men she had ever known, refusing to be a Grey Warden. She never asked Duncan if he knew why and she had hoped it was merely because he would've rather been with their mother then with the Wardens, but a small part of her wondered if it was because the Grey Wardens were more a bane than a boon.

The Apostate knew Duncan would have his way, she would be going through the Joining no matter what, but she was now wondering whether her life would be worse or better if she managed to survive. The teen hadn't noticed a tear fall as she dwelled, lost in her thoughts.

Duncan recognized the look in her eyes; it was one of desolation and doubt. A look he had seen in the mirror day after day when he was to join the Wardens. The uncertainty, the fear, and most of all the cruel curse of knowing that someone else would have chosen another life. It was a heavy burden.

"If they tried, I made a promise to your siblings…did I not?" He knew he might not be able to keep her safe. He knew the Blight could bring anything; that any one of them could die at any moment, but right now keeping the girl from falling further into the darkness that uncertainty was cultivating within her heart took precedence over the cold harsh reality of life. His thumb swept aside the tear leaving a cold wet streak across her cheek and she broke from her trance glancing up at him.

"Duncan…" her voice was soft and timid finally matching a girl of her age. It pained him almost to hear it, he was reminded of himself at her age. She was appreciative in his attempts to reassure her, even though she knew that this world was never so easy…so straightforward. The girl wanted to hug him but restrained herself; it was bad enough she was acting like a child in front of him, she didn't want to affirm that she was one by giving into her need to show her gratitude with physical contact like hugs.

"Ahem…" Someone cleared their throat nearby. The two, still positioned with his hand holding onto her face and their close proximity, glanced over seeing Daveth smirking widely. They immediately realized what it must have looked like and parted quickly. The girl blushed embarrassed and crossed her arms. Duncan seemed unfazed. "Oh, now don't go stopping on my account. In fact I could join you both if you wanted."

This comment sent the girl on a tirade.

When Alistair and Ser Jory final returned from the camp with their equipment they found the girl straddling Daveth's back. She had a strong grasp on his arms and was pulling them, bending his back in what looked like an excruciating manner, his legs being held to the ground by ice. He was laughing and pleading for her to stop and Duncan was chuckling with his arms crossed leaning against a column watching them.

"I'm almost afraid to ask." Alistair said with a grin amused by the sight.

"Agreed." Jory nodded as they drew closer.

Daveth saw them approach and begged with a pained grin. "Help me, she's gone mad."

"I'm sure you wholly deserved it." Jory commented with a soft chuckle.

"I'm inclined to agree with Ser Jory." Alistair stated, hands on his hips.

"It was just a small remark, I-I swear." Daveth said between laughs and grunts of pain.

"Which, I'm afraid, you only made worse with the added comments afterward." Duncan chimed in a small grin on his lips.

"W-what? A-all I said was that I'll take the back, and you could have the fr-ack!" Daveth was bent back further by the girl.

"Alright, alright. Time for you all to get underway. Let him go…" The Warden Commander stated watching them all now.

Grumbling, the girl released him and with a flop his face hit the ground. She stood and stepped over him arms crossed her magic fading. Daveth pushed himself up laughing and wincing, his face covered in dirt and rubbed the aching areas on his legs that had been exposed to the prolonged cold.

"Note to self, leave the mage and Warden Commander alone next time." He said under his breath a smirk forming, earning a glare from the teen and cocked eyebrows from the two warriors.

However, the two decided it was best not to ask and once Alistair helped up the roguish recruit the four traveled into the Wilds.

**~.~.~**

The group fought their way through the Korcari Wilds, managing to accomplish many tasks along the way:

They saved a scout. Picked the herb the Mabari hound needed. Got their three vials of darkspawn blood, earning a gagging response from Alessia and Jory. Took pity on the missionaries Rigby and Jogby. Claimed said missionaries' treasures. Promised, to little more than the wind, to give some woman named Jetta a lockbox. Followed Chasind trail signs all over the Wilds, getting lost twice in the process. Found the cache the signs led to obtaining a hilarious helmet, which Alistair took gladly, several unremarkable weapons and Chasind robes that seemed to barely cover anything, earning Daveth a slap when he held them up to the mage and told her to change into them. Then they came across a pouch of ashes and dumped them over a pile of stones with the same residue, summoning the demon Gazarath. The four battled the demon finally slaughtering it and thought in retrospect that pouring a random satchel of ashes on an obviously man-made arrangement of rocks was generally a bad idea.

After this assortment of tasks were completed the group still needed to locate the archive; which took them nearly thirty minutes, after the Gazarath debacle, a great deal more of darkspawn slaying and three wrong turns. When the four finally found the tower they all agreed, the Junior Warden especially, that anyone but Alistair was allowed to lead the group since it was quite clear his sense of direction wasn't all that great.

The group had their reservations as they entered the ruins but when it appeared that they had a break from the constant fighting they looked around. Alessia spotted a broken chest in the corner and pointed.

"Uh, that's not supposed to be where the scrolls are, is it?"

"Oh Maker, I hope not…" Alistair sighed as they made their way over.

The teen kneeled down and reached her hand into the dusty cobweb-infested remains of the chest; making a face when, what she assumed was a spider, crawled across her skin. She felt nothing but feather-light webs and the crumbling stone of the coffer. "Nothing in here."

"Well," Alessia and the other three immediately turned to the ramp to see a young woman descending it making her way towards them. "What have we here?" The teen stood and walked over. "Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned?" Her head tilted looking them all over. "Or merely an intruder, come into the darkspawn-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?" She stopped arms crossed. "What say you, hmm? Scavenger or Intruder?"

"Are those my only options?" The girl asked before scratching her head then shrugged. "This…tower…was once owned by the Grey Wardens."

"Tis a tower no longer. The Wilds have obviously claimed this desiccated corpse." The woman's eyes narrowed before she walked passed them. "I have watched your progress for some time. 'Where do they go,' I wondered, 'why are they here?'" Her very dark brown hair was pulled back in a spiked bun and she stopped gazing out unto the Wilds before turning and looking at them once more. "And now you disturb ashes none have touched for so long. Why is that?"

The teen opened her mouth to respond when Alistair cut in. "Don't answer her. She looks Chasind, and that means others may be nearby."

"Oooo," the woman looked at him. "You fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?"

"Yes," the Junior Warden grimaced at her. "Swooping is bad."

"She's a Witch of the Wilds, she is!" Daveth claimed and pointed at her in an accusatory manner. "She'll turn us into toads!" His fear of the wilds becoming even more evident.

"Witch of the Wilds?" The woman looked unimpressed at them. "Such idle fancies, those legends. Have you no minds of your own?" Her eyes fell on the teen. "You there. Women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine."

The youngest recruit blushed faintly, still not used to being referred to as a woman, but quickly growing desensitized to it with Daveth's occasional flirtations. "I am Alessia…"

"And you may call me Morrigan, if you wish." The teen nodded as the older female continued. "Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest, something that is here no longer?"

"'Here no longer?' You stole them, didn't you? You're…some kind of…sneaky…witch-thief!"

Alessia's face dropped as she rubbed her brow. _Really? Sneaky witch-thief?_ Daveth made a face from his insult and looked worriedly at the witch. Jory remained silent knowing when to hold his tongue.

"How very eloquent." Morrigan stated with a roll of her eyes. "How does one steal from dead men?"

Alistair gritted his teeth. "Quite easily, it seems. Those documents are Grey Warden property, and I suggest you return them."

The woman sneered faintly. "I will not, for 'twas not I who removed them. Invoke a name that means nothing here any longer if you wish; I am not threatened."

The teen could feel the tension growing between them all and she cleared her throat. "Then who removed them?"

"'Twas my mother, in fact." She stated with a cross of her arms, her golden-yellow eyes boring into the girl's bright-green ones.

"Can you take us to her?" The young mage asked not breaking the older one's gaze.

The witch chuckled. "There is a sensible request. I like you."

Alistair's eyes narrowed at this and looked to the teenager. "I'd be careful. First it's, 'I like you…' but then 'Zap!' Frog time."

The girl grinned faintly and sighed shaking her head.

"She'll put us all in the pot, she will. Just you watch!" Daveth warned biting the inside of his lip.

"If the pot's warmer than this forest, it'd be a nice change." Jory chimed in, feeling a chill growing on the air.

"Follow me, then," the witch said turning. "If it pleases you."

**~.~.~**

Morrigan lead the four to a small hut. Standing there, as though anticipating their arrival, was a ragged looking old woman. "Greetings, mother. I bring before you four Grey Wardens who-"

"I see them girl." The old woman stated flatly and inspected them. "Hmm, much as I expected."

Alistair gave an incredulous look. "Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?"

"You are required to do nothing, least of all believe." The elderly witch's words were wise, but Alessia could feel the magic dripping from them. Ancient, powerful…familiar. "Shut one's eyes tight or opens one's arms wide, either way, one's a fool."

"She's a witch, I tell you! We shouldn't be talking to her!" The rogue heatedly whispered looking to his companions.

"Quiet, Daveth! If she's really a witch, do you want to make her mad?" Jory retorted giving him a glare then looking back.

The old woman gave a curt chuckle and grinned. "There's a smart lad. Sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things, but it is not I who decides. Believe what you will." Her gaze fell on the young Apostate. "And what of you? Does your woman's mind give you a different viewpoint? Or do you believe as these boys do?"

The teen trembled, the magic from this woman making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. "I'm not actually sure what to believe."

A small, yet dangerous, smirk crossed the witch's lips. "A statement that possesses more wisdom than it implies." Her expression returning to normal. "Be always aware…or is it oblivious?" She shrugged. "I can never remember." The girl's discomfort was obvious to her and this admittedly pleased her._ Sensitive to it, I see. Morrigan took a while as well to get used to it. _"So much about you is uncertain…and yet I believe. Do I?" The witch played at seeming senile, pulling off the act quite well. "Why it seems I do!"

"So," Alistair gave a faint smug grin, his tone full of disbelief. "This is a dreaded Witch of the Wilds?"

"Witch of the Wilds, eh?" The woman grinned amused. "Morrigan must have told you that. She fancies such tales, not that she'd ever admit it." Morrigan rubbed her brow and frowned, her teeth gritting, a blush barely forming on her pale cheeks. "Oh how she dances under the moon!" Her mother clapped her hands together and laughed only evoking a deeper flush from her daughter.

The yellow-eyed witch sighed softly. "They did not come to listen to your wild tales, mother."

The old witch's expression turned serious. "True, they came for their treaties, yes?" She turned heading to her hut. "And before you begin barking," seeing Alistair about to respond without actually facing him. "Your precious seal wore off long ago." She headed into her home and came back out with several scrolls. "I have protected these." The woman held them out to the teen.

"You-" Alistair blinked shocked. "You protected them?"

"And why not?" Her eyes were intense as she peered at the Junior Warden. "Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight's threat is greater than they realize."

This made the young Apostate's stomach churn. With the magic this woman possessed, it was conceivable that her words were true. The boys continued speaking with the Witch of the Wilds now earning only vague, senile, and playful responses. However, their voices only droned on as Alessia contemplated the old witch's words. Her hands gripped at the scrolls tightly, holding them close. Only when Daveth gripped her shoulder did she realize it was time to leave, and she followed the boys and Morrigan.

The young witch left the group at the gate to the camp and disappeared back into the Wilds.

As they made their way to Duncan, Alessia handed the herb to the Kennel Master with a small smile and then stood before the Warden Commander.

"So you return from the Wilds. Have you been successful?"

"Nah, we gave up halfway through when there wasn't a darkspawn to be seen." The girl stated arms crossed trying not to grin. Duncan mimicked her stance, his eyes unwavering as he looked her over, his expression straight. She sighed and held out the vials. "Come on, Duncan, do you honestly think that we'd return if we hadn't been successful?"

He sighed and gave that one to her. "Very well. I've had the Circle mages preparing. With the blood you've retrieved, we can begin the joining immediately."

"Duncan, I think you should know. There was a woman at the tower and her mother had the scrolls. They were both very…odd." Alistair commented, figuring it important to mention the ones who had been in possession of their scrolls for who knows how long.

"Were they Wilder folk?" The Commander asked looking to him.

"I don't think so. They might be Apostates: mages hiding from the Chantry."

The Apostate fidgeted from his comment and looked down to the side.

Catching her from the corner of his eye, Duncan peered at Alistair. "I know you were once a Templar, Alistair, but Chantry business is not ours. We have the scrolls; let us focus on the Joining."

"You're right, Duncan, I apologize." Alistair nodded with a sigh.

"Will you tell us now what this ritual entails?" Jory questioned, hoping this time he'll get an answer.

"I will not lie; we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to become what we are. Fate may decree you pay your price now rather than later."

The two male recruits looked to one another both coming to the same conclusion as to what that meant.

"Let's go, then. I'm anxious to see this Joining now." Daveth said determined.

"I agree. Let's have it done." Jory nodded

"Then let us begin. Alistair, take them to the old temple." He watched Alistair nod and head off before setting his hand on Alessia's shoulder. "Wait." The girl stopped and looked up at him curiously. "I have thought on it. And against my better judgment…I am giving you this chance to run."

"W-wait? What?" Her brow furrowed, not quite sure she heard him right.

"Daveth and Ser Jory have lived their lives. They are old enough to have experienced it properly, for the most part. You have not. I know you are a child, but in regards to the Wardens and the Joining I have been treating you as an adult and that is...unfair of me. I know what is like to be forced into the order at so young an age, to bear this burden…" he kept his eyes on her not removing his hand from her shoulder. "So take this chance and return home. I will not come after you and your secrets will die with me."

"D-duncan I…" she thought on this. He was giving her a chance to go home. Against every fiber of his being and every reasonable thought he was allowing her to return to her normal life in Lothering. She could see he didn't want to even offer, but his conscience and past were battling against his oaths as a Grey Warden. A sort of relief swept over her and the teen put her hand over his, gripping his gauntlet tightly; her bright peridot-green eyes looking up at him. "Thank you, Duncan."

"**I knew it." The Seeker stated with some satisfaction, her arms crossed. Varric leaned on one hand watching her, as the other marked down another stroke on the book. Literally tallying up the interruptions. He was a patient man though, if a tad bit annoyed with her tone. "I knew she wouldn't become a Grey Warden."**


	5. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age, it's sad but true.**

* * *

_**Chapter Four**_

_**The Joining**_

**Cassandra looked to the dwarf. "Well?"**

** "Yes?" Varric grinned.**

** "Continue your story. You have yet to get to the Champion arriving in Kirkwall." She stated crossly.**

** "Fine, but don't get angry with me if things don't turn out as you expected, Seeker."**

A sort of relief swept over her and the teen put her hand over his, gripping his gauntlet tightly; her bright peridot-green eyes looked up at him. "Thank you, Duncan." A small smile graced her lips. "But it's not happening." The man looked at her curiously. It was true she was relieved, but more so at his compassion than at the offer itself. "You're right; I'm not looking forward to the burden. And I don't want to be a Warden if it's so bad that my own father, who would've done anything to keep us safe, refused. But I made a promise to you remember? And I intend to keep mine as well." She recalled him mentioning his intentions earlier in the day, before Daveth ruined it with innuendo.

"You would choose this burden?"

"Normally, no. But if it means helping my family, yes. And now that I know you view me as an adult, the last thing I wish to do is run away like some frightened child." She smiled softly, it was weary but sincere.

He nodded slowly thinking on this before lightly squeezing her shoulder. "Go join the others."

The teen grinned and took off in the direction the boys went, heading to the area where she first found Alistair.

"Oh ho, finally decided to join us? Did you share a stolen kiss or two with-" The girl froze the sitting rogue, gritting her teeth, and stood by them arms crossed. Jory looked at her, not too comfortable with her magic use. Alistair cleansed the area with his Templar given abilities but he did wait a few brief moments before doing so figuring Daveth deserved it. Daveth shivered and held himself. "D-duly noted, that to-topic is not up for dis-discussion." He said through chattering teeth attempting to grin.

Several minutes passed.

Daveth had finally managed to warm himself up and was standing about now, entertaining the teen with his tale of how he met Duncan. Jory was pacing, worry gripping at his mind, and doubt his heart. Alistair stood silently watching them, his arms crossed.

"The more I hear about this Joining, the less I like it."

The devilish rogue rolled his eyes at hearing the knight and looked to him. "Are you blubbering again?"

Alessia looked over at Jory as well, remaining silent.

"Why all these damned tests? Have I not earned my place?"

The rogue shrugged. "Maybe it's tradition." He gave a mischievous smirk. "Maybe they're just trying to annoy you." The knight's brow furrowed, glaring at him.

"I hope you take no offense, Ser Jory, but you didn't honestly think the order simply handed out griffon embossed letters to every eligible and worthwhile person saying 'Congratulations! You are a Grey Warden! Here's your seal of approval and voucher for a free piece of cake!'"

"Uh I- no…"

"Because that would be way too many vouchers there'd be no way they'd have that much cake." The girl grinned and Daveth chuckled.

Alistair grinned as well and nodded agreeing with her. "Not to mention the cost alone for such high quality paper, griffon embossing is not cheap you know."

"That's true; I didn't take that into account." The girl stated looking to Alistair. "There'd hardly be anything left in the Warden treasury for cake."

"But maybe some enough for a little cheese." The Junior Warden contemplated rubbing his chin.

Jory gritted his teeth. "You two joke as if this was not a grave matter!" He seemed taken aback by his own reaction and looked at them sullenly. "My wife is in Highever with a child on the way. If they had warned me…" he glanced down. "It just doesn't seem fair."

Daveth sighed shaking his head. "Would you have come if they'd warned you? Maybe that's why they don't." The teen nodded and thought. _That's exactly why Daveth…_ "The Wardens do what they must right?"

"Including sacrificing us?" He gave an incredulous look at the cut-purse.

"I'd sacrifice a lot more if I knew it would end the Blight." Daveth said plainly his eyes sullen but determined.

"As would I." Alessia stated looking to Jory. "We've all got loved ones and Ferelden is our home, I would willingly give my life if it could stop this Blight in its tracks."

"See, Ser Knight, the youngest of us is willing to lay down her life." Daveth said looking from the girl to Jory. "You saw those darkspawn. Wouldn't you die to protect your pretty wife from them?"

"I-I-"

"Maybe you'll die. Maybe we'll all die. If nobody stops the darkspawn we'll die for sure." Alessia marveled at Daveth, he may be a lecher but he was one with a heart of gold and had more bravery than half the soldiers she knew in Lothering.

The Warden Commander had listened to them and sighed softly before walking over, trying to move things along. "At last we come to the Joining. The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation." The Rivaini rogue made his way over to a chalice the four had been avoiding and poured something inside of it, swirling around the concoction before turning to face them. "So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint."

Alistair recalled his joining and winced tasting the mixture on his tongue. Daveth blinked, surprised but figured there were worse things they could've had them do. Alessia grimaced again, arms crossed, wondering if whatever the Circle mages did made it taste better at least. Jory looked over shocked.

"We're…going to drink the blood of those…those creatures?" The knight hesitated looking to Duncan.

"As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you. This is the source of our power and our victory." The Senior Warden stated looking at him.

"Those who survive the joining become immune to the taint. We can sense it in the darkspawn and use it to slay the Archdemon." Alistair chimed in looking to the recruits.

Alessia looked at them all before settling on Duncan. "Then let's get this over with…"

The Warden Commander nodded. "We only say a few words prior to the joining, but these words have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would?"

The two Wardens lowered their heads and the three recruits followed in suit. "Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn." Jory glanced up and around his eyes falling on the chalice with a hard swallow and lowered his head again as Alistair continued. "And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you."

A moment of silence passed between them all as Duncan grabbed up the cup and turned to them. "Daveth, step forward." He passed the goblet to him.

The recruit looked at him then the exceedingly dark crimson, nearly black, liquid. He took a deep breath and brought it to his lips before stopping and handing it back.

"Give me a moment…" He pulled out a dagger wrapped in a tatty cloth with a letter in the binding and turned to Alistair. "If I- well…you know…give this to Liselle, she sells flowers in Denerim." After this he quickly turned and grabbed up the chalice, taking a large sip of the concoction.

Daveth handed it back to the Senior Warden. A moment passed and he doubled over gripping his head, his eyes rolled back and he hollered and cried out in agony. Jory staggered back terrified. Alistair turned his head knowing the outcome. The girl's eyes widened and she gripped her staff tightly swallowing hard. Daveth coughed and choked grasping at his throat as he crumbled to the ground. Duncan apologized softly as he watched the life leave the thief's body.

"Maker's breath!" Jory continued to back up.

"Step forward, Jory." The Rivaini turned slowly, almost ominously towards the knight.

"B-but…I have a wife. A child! Had I known…" He continued to stagger back his hand going to the hilt of his blade, drawing his sword.

"There's no turning back." Duncan stated forebodingly, watching the warrior, his eyes intense.

"No! You ask too much!" Ser Jory put his sword up between him and Duncan as a feeble attempt to separate them. "There is no glory in this!" He stumbled backwards to the wall.

A certain sorrow briefly washed over Duncan's expression before it turned to a dark resolve as he unsheathed one of his daggers. Slowly he approached the knight and, with a graceful ease, deflected the warrior's strike. The teen's eyes widened as she watched the Warden Commander's blade drive deep into Jory's gut. Blood spewed out, coloring the Rivaini's attire and falling on Alistair and Alessia's boots. Alistair's throat felt dry but he watched quietly knowing the necessity.

"I am sorry." The man's expression was pained for a moment as he removed his dagger from the knight and let his body fall to the ground. He straightened as Jory's blood pooled around his feet. "But the Joining is not yet complete." His eyes immediately fell on the girl, wondering if now her resolve was now wavering. She swallowed hard her eyes on the warrior then the rogue both lying dead at her feet. Her heart sank and she felt her chances of survival suddenly dropping to zero. Taking a deep breath she looked at the Senior Warden, he was now holding out the chalice to her. "You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good." Both wardens watched with anticipation as she took the chalice and drank deeply from it.

_Maker, let at least one survive…_Alistair inwardly prayed.

_Be strong enough to survive._ Duncan thought as he kept his eyes focused on her.

The girl gagged, it tasted worse then she could have imagined. The liquid burned going down and was now churning her stomach. With a loud clatter the goblet fell from her hands as she doubled over, gripping at her sides and abdomen. She fought the urge to throw up the mixture as pain shot through her, electrifying every nerve in her body. Her muscles contracted and tightened and she felt her heart begin to race. Finally the pain flooded to her head and she gripped it. Eyes rolling back she felt her body go rigid as images flashed through her mind.

Struggling for breath her immoveable chest refused to expand, to heave. Muscles tightened further, seemingly determine to constrict the life from her. Unable to support her own weight her legs buckled beneath her and she fell forward. Duncan quickly caught her and laid her on the ground. He realized that she was suffocating and after a moment her body went limp, lying there immobile. Both Alistair and he exchanged looks, a sullenness in their eyes. Duncan glanced back and placed his hand on the girl's forehead, saying a prayer for her spirit. "I'm sorry, Aless-" The man immediately stopped when he saw the girl's back arch as air filled her lungs, a large gasp escaping her lips.

"**You seem shocked." Varric mused with a smirk. "You honestly believed she wouldn't go through with it. Such lack of faith, Seeker."**

**Her eyes bore into him her jaw tightening. "You want me to have faith in the Champion, after all the trouble she's caused?!" The rogue watched her knowing that she obviously had no idea what the truth of the whole matter was. "Your story is growing tiresome, Tethras. So the Champion was a Grey Warden, Anders was a Grey Warden as well, it means nothing."**

_**She still doesn't get it…**_**The Dwarf chuckled and waved away her comment, much to her annoyance, continuing with his tale.**

The Apostate awoken her vision blurry but she could tell that Duncan and Alistair were standing over her watching her intently. With a sigh of relief the blonde Warden gave her a kind, if solemn, smile. The Rivaini's eyes were gentle and thankful that one managed to survive.

"It is finished. Welcome." He held out his hand taking hers and helping her to her feet. "From this moment on you are a Grey Warden."

"Two more deaths. In my joining, only one of us died, but it was…horrible." The once Templar stated with a sorrowful gaze. "I'm glad at least one of you made it through."

"How do you feel?" The Warden Commander asked examining her as if to make sure there was nothing horribly wrong.

The girl's body ached; she felt weak, her limbs seemed like jelly and Alistair had to hand her staff to her to lean on. Her stomach was still churning, and the taste would not leave her tongue. "I feel like I want to throw up. You couldn't have made it taste better?" She rubbed her temple and breathed deeply still feeling the suffocating effects of the experience. "A-and the pain, you could've done a better job explaining it to me."

The older Warden chuckled. "Such is what it takes to be a Grey Warden, but I'll keep that in mind for next time."

"Did you have dreams?" Alistair chimed in. "I had terrible dreams after my joining."

"Such dreams come when you begin to sense the darkspawn, as we all do. That and many other things can be explained in the months to come."

_If we live that long…_She thought but nodded, with a wince, to his comment.

"Before I forget, there is one last part to your Joining." The blonde held out a necklace with a small silver flask that had a glass window revealing the exact liquid she had just drank. "We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant. Something to remind us…of those who didn't make it this far."

She took it and looked at it then glanced over to the covered bodies of Daveth and Jory.

Duncan caught this. "Take some time. When you are ready, I'd like you to accompany me to a meeting with the King."

"Wait, what?" The girl looked to him confused, her head pounding. "Why me? I just became a Grey Warden, Alistair outranks me."

"Alistair doesn't like stuffy meetings." Alistair said with a grin.

"Yes, well, Alessia knows nothing about wars or battles." The girl mimicked his speech style and sighed.

Duncan looked between the two of them watching silently.

"Alistair prefers to follow orders not give them, depending on what they are of course. And he already informed Duncan about the multiple times the group got lost and that we didn't find the archive until you took over. Also remember we all agreed…I am not allowed to lead." The blonde Warden chuckled, still grinning.

The Apostate leaned her head against her staff feeling worn, and looked off. "I only pointed and said 'let's go that way'." She muttered softly.

The Warden Commander gave a brief smile. "Just join me when you're ready." He looked at her then turned giving Alistair a look to which the young man responded with a sheepish shrug.

She watched both of them walk off before collapsing to her knees, her staff falling at her side, feeling exhausted. _Andraste's ass, th-that was…horrible…_Gritting her teeth she reached into one of her pouches and pulled out a bit of elfroot and began chewing on the end of it, letting the juices coat her tongue; easing the nausea and pains while also providing a means to erase the vile taste in her mouth. Her gaze fell on the covered bodies, with a soft sigh she lifted up her staff and forced herself to stand. The teenager made her way over to them and sat between them. She reached out, gripping one of the sheets and hesitated a moment before pulling it off.

Daveth's lifeless body laid beneath.

Black veins were visible through his deathly pale skin, his eyes closed, and lips blue. Alessia looked him over as she placed her hand over his, apologizing for surviving when he did not. The girl recalled the dagger and letter he had handed to Alistair earlier.

"I promise…" she swallowed hard. Her hand gripped his tightly. "I promise Duncan, Alistair, and I will deliver your gift. It'll get there." Alessia's heart sank and she patted his hand before replacing sheet back over him and turned to the other body uncovering it slowly.

Like Daveth, Jory's body was deathly pale with stains of red and his eyes closed. His arms were crossed over his sword; Alessia gently removed the blade and placed it in her pack she knew some families preferred to have the blades of their dead returned to them especially if they could not get the body back. She then continued to go through his pouches and didn't find anything else but a glint of silver around his neck drew her attention there. Pulling on the chain she pulled out a locket from beneath his chainmail, inside was an antique depiction of a beautiful woman smiling kindly. The girl didn't know if it was his wife but she assumed it was and removed the trinket placing it with the sword in her pack. The least she could do was return it to his wife for him. Patting the knight's hand she recovered him as well and stood with a wince.

Using her staff as support, she headed down the ramp to the where this meeting with the King was taking place. She could hear Cailan's voice as she approached.

"Loghain, my decision is finale. I will stand by the Grey Wardens in this assault."

The Apostate walked around the table to stand beside Duncan, still chewing on the elfroot, the girl leaned against her staff watching slowly. Duncan looked down at her then back at the two arguing.

"You risk too much, Cailan! The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines."

"If that's the case, perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us, after all." The King said with a wry grin.

"I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesians to defend ourselves!" Loghain gritted his teeth listening to his son-in-law.

"It is not a 'fool notion.' Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past…and you will remember who is king."

"How fortunate Maric did not live-" the young mage and Rivaini caught the look of pain in the old Teyrn's eyes when he said this before he turned looking off, "to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century!"

"Then our current forces will have to suffice, won't they?" He gave a satisfied grin and turned to the Grey Wardens. "Duncan, are your men ready for battle?"

Duncan unfolded his arms and nodded. "They are, your Majesty."

Cailan immediately turned to the teen and smiled. "And this is the recruit I met earlier on the road? I understand congratulations are in order."

The girl looked at him wearily; after what she just witnessed, what she just endured, congratulations was the last thing she wanted to hear. She began to grit her teeth biting down harder on the elfroot, her eyes narrowing, thinking about the two that lay dead not too far from where they all stood, about the visions and pain…about it all. Loghain caught this, his eyebrow cocking at the reaction. Duncan noticed as well and nudged the girl's arm earning a sharp wince and look from her before she turned back to the king and forced a smile.

"Thank you, your Majesty."

He grinned, either too oblivious to actually notice her reaction or so bedazzled by his idol-worship of the Wardens that he interpreted it in a different light, and spoke cheerily. "Every Grey Warden is needed now. You should be honored to join their ranks."

The girl's expression faltered her jaw tightening. She knew somewhere deep down she should feel honored, after all everyone painted the Grey Wardens as heroes, but the burden was not one she had longed for as a child. Like Bethany, she had only wished to settle down and lay low but her desire to ensure her family was kept safe overpowered that wish. The mage began to fidget, she didn't know how to respond.

The Teyrn of Gwaren noticed her discomfort, and found minor relief in the fact that not all seemed to think as Cailan did in regards to the Wardens. Especially seeing it in one so young, and who surely was raised on such stories as a child. Quickly he turned to the King. "Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to reality."

Alessia was thankful that the man distracted the King and breathed a sigh of relief as the two went on about battle strategy and some tower. She dwelled on her thoughts praying for this little gathering to end soon.

"…send our best. Send Alistair and the new Grey Warden to make sure it's done." The King's voice broke through her thoughts.

"Wait what?" Her attention snapped back to them the root dropping from her lips in her surprise. "Where are you sending us?"

The Rogue sighed and rubbed his brow. "To the Tower of Ishal, to light the beacon during the upcoming battle."

"So…you mean I won't be fighting in the battle?"

"We need the beacon. Without it, Loghain's men won't know when to charge." Duncan expressed looking to her.

"You see? Glory for everyone!" King Cailan exclaimed happily.

"Yeah…no pressure…" She muttered under her breath.

"You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?" The King's father-in-law questioned as the girl shook her head.

_Yes, let's send the newly Joined and perhaps least-battle ready person on a vital task. I'm sure everything will work out just fine…_the Apostate continued to shake her head until it hurt too much to continue. Earning a minor cock of the brow from Loghain and a hand on her shoulder from Duncan. Duncan knew her worries, but also had faith she wouldn't let him down. Loghain found it a little amusing. The girl gripped her forehead, inwardly cursing as a headache began creeping up on her. Soon she began to feel ill again as well, but she didn't know if it was entirely from the Joining or if some of it was due to the sudden task she had been given.

"Enough of your conspiracy theories, Loghain." The King glared faintly at the other man. "Grey Wardens battle the Blight, no matter where they're from."

The Rivaini turned to the King. "Your Majesty, you should consider the possibility of the Archdemon appearing."

"There have been no signs of any dragons in the Wilds." Teyrn Mac Tir stated.

"Isn't that what your men are here for, Duncan?" Cailan commented looking to the Warden Commander.

"I…" He hesitated. It seemed a pointless endeavor now to try and get his point across and merely conceded. "Yes, your Majesty."

After this a heated argument ensued between the Senior Mage from the Circle and the Revered Mother. The girl paid them no mind, her head too busy swimming with the possible outcomes of the battle, only causing it to ache further.

What if they lit the beacon too late? What if it didn't light at all? What if the tower is overrun? What if they die before they even get close? The loss of the battle could very well be their fault. All those lives depending on them. All their blood on their hands…

Her stomach lurched at this thought and she staggered. And as if sensing her moment of weakness exhaustion took hold of her, no longer deterred by the short-lived effects of the elfroot. Every inch of her body suddenly felt heavy and ached. She tried to grip her staff tighter but it did little to help her once her knees caved and buckled. The Rogue saw her falling and immediately grabbed her arm keeping her standing. When all the arguing was settled and the meeting finished he waited for the others to leave before scooping up the girl in his arms.

"I had forgotten the effects of the Joining linger longer in the younger ones. I was bed ridden for a day or two…possibly three, after my Joining." He carried her out of the ruins towards the bonfire.

"H-how could you forget something like that?! It was horrible!" She exclaimed with a wince.

"In my defense it was almost thirty years ago."

She shook her head eyelids feeling heavy. "I'm not sure…I-I'll ever forget it."

The motion of his walking lulling her to sleep, she closed her eyes and gave in passing out. Duncan looked down at petite girl in his arms and sighed softly, he knew the horde was marching towards them but he could sense them still some distance away. Definitely enough time to allow her to rest.

So, for now, he would let her sleep.


End file.
